Want LOVE? It Starts With YOU


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Special Guest Post by the Great Joe Hashem
It’s totally normal for many of us to want to find that one romantic relationship that will provide fulfillment. We ultimately want to be loved, right? But do we love ourselves? Do we truly appreciate ourselves? Do we feel self-worth? Do we believe in ourselves?
The truth is, actual fulfillment occurs when there is real love for one’s self.

We walk around hoping to meet that friend or lover that will make us happy and complete. Not only do I believe that it’s possible to make yourself happy but I believe it’s necessary if any romantic relationship is going to last and grow. When we wake up and are content with who we are and care deeply about ourselves, a love develops inside. I am not talking about being selfish. Quite the opposite. Love is an outward emotion that begins in ourselves and is to be shared with the world. When we truly love ourselves our thoughts and actions become compassionate. With compassion we see others for who they are – fellow human beings. We become capable of empathy and forgiveness. We make others want to feel the love inside of us.
You may say “This all sounds great but how do I go about this journey of self-love?” The one thing we must always remember is that we are the only ones responsible for our own happiness. No one person or one thing will bring lasting happiness if we aren’t feeling it for ourselves. The one place to start is with our physical selves. Do we feel good? What do we need to do ensure this? Do we need to eat better, sleep more and be more active? Or do we need to stop postponing that long overdue routine check-up with our doctor? Physical health and well-being have a huge impact on our emotional and spiritual states. Most of us will never look like bodybuilders or supermodels but there is nothing on this planet stopping us from feeling as good as they look. This is key!

When we feel positive in our physical state, a few things begin to happen. We begin to gain self-appreciation and care. We want to look after ourselves. This also leads to greater self-esteem, which ultimately leads to the confidence we all want. The confidence to love freely perhaps. Our emotional and spiritual selves become more heightened when the physical is on a more positive plane of existence. Our emotional growth is enhanced with the realization that love is about all people and not just one. Spiritually we realize a deeper sense of humanity and the compassion in our hearts is released.
Again, without love of self none of this is possible.
Another area to look at when evaluating or beginning a journey of self love is with the current relationships we have. Our families, our friends and even our jobs are important and influential relationships. People will always hear me say that if any situation is not contributing to positivity and growth that it needs to be removed/changed or it will become toxic.
Think about it.

When we love ourselves we realize that we want to grow and by putting ourselves in situations that will lend to emotional/spiritual growth we fuel the positivity we know is deserved. Anything else is toxic and counterproductive. If our family life is turbulent we need to ask ourselves why and what we can do to change this. If our friendships are not fulfilling we need to ask the very same questions. Do our jobs really make us happy? The answers may lie in ourselves, in others or both but at the end of the day, that evaluation is our responsibility.
Everyday we must practice and maintain self-love. As this happens, it becomes embedded in our moment to moment thoughts and actions. Happiness becomes a conscious decision along with the love we will have for ourselves and our surroundings. Maybe we’re happy being single for now. Maybe if we meet someone our hearts will be so filled with love of self that the reciprocation is not only fulfilling but also long lasting. Maybe there is more to life than our next romance. There are many maybes in this wonderful journey of life but one thing is for sure… If you want love, if you want to feel loved…
LOVE absolutely starts with YOU.

Editor’s note: We are truly pleased to open up the pages of Twenty York Street to special guest posts for reflections on love, life, fashion and everything in between. We want to thank the charming Joseph Hashem, founder of Feel Good Wire (make sure you follow Joe in Twitter @JoeHashem and LIKE FGW in Facebook) for this beautiful post on Greatest Love of All – learning to love yourself – it is the greatest LOVE of All.

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